I’ve been looking for work recently, and I’ve applied for a lot of things.
There’s been a lot of timewasters so far, from scammers on Gumtree, to jobs on more-commonly-legit websites (Reed, Jobsite, etc.) which are not really jobs – but actually paid courses. “No experience necessary”, because they train you at a cost of several thousand pounds to start with.
I can’t remember what I applied for on this occasion, but this is what I’ve just received via email. I have not emailed the address who sent me this email, and they handily haven’t included my original message in the reply.
(I’ve tried to recreate the random capitalisation of letters, and bizarre spacing (or lack-of) roughly as per “Justin’s” original email. Which was very hard, but not as hard as fighting the urge to correct the spelling.)
From: Justin William Rose <hotmail address>
Subject: Job detaisl.!! Awaiting your mail.
Thanks for replying through the advert placed on Gumtree.
How are you today? I believe you are having a great day? I am currently Looking for someone who can handle my Personal and business as Per-Time Job.I would love to meet up with you to talk about this job but I am currently away on a business trip but there is a test which i will like you to go through because i need a capable Personal Assistant. I am in Scotland/Aberdeen so there will be no interview except for the form you will fill below.
1.Have you ever worked as a Personal Assistant ?
2.Can you communicate effective and efficiently?
3.Will you be able to run errands 1:30 Hour/Min per day for and will be needed 3
day’s per week at any suitable time in 3 day’s in a week?
I will prepay you in advance to do my shopping. I will also have my mails and packages forwarded to your address.
If you will be unable to stay at your house to get my mails, I can have it shipped to a post office near you and then you can pick it up at your convenience.When you get my mails/packages; you are required to mail them to where I want them mailed to. You don’t have to put money out of you pocket, all you have to do is have packages shipped to your house and do my shopping.
You are allowed to open the packages to know content.The content of the packages are computer and electronics, clothing’s business and personal letters. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me.
I will pay £300 weekly That is not a bad offer is it? I need your service because I am constantly out of town on business as I own a electronics and clothing store in Scotland but want to open another store in Central London when I return in October so this process will be on going till then. If you don’t mind,I will meet up with you when I return and then we can talk about the possibility of making this a long term. Well let me know if you are able to handle the position.
I will email you the list and pictures of what to shop for when I am ready. No heavy packages are involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest stores. You will be shopping for Electronics and clothings. If I were to mail you money to do my shopping plus upfront payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to? Your full info for check,money orders or cash payment:-
You must be RELIABLE, detail-oriented, and write reasonably well, and have access to a computer with Microsoft Word and a reliable Internet connection, must be 19 years old and above , no experience needed .Application info needed:-
First Name :
Last Name :
Post code :
Home and Cell # :
Year of Birth :
Present Job :
Alternative Email :
Well, let me know if you are able to handle the position Thanks for your anticipated action. And kindly get back to us if you are interested or not , as we hope to hear back from you soon.
Acknowledgment your details to this email address :-
I await your prompt reply .
Best Of Luck!
I think we can all agree that this doesn’t sound dodgy. At all. My bullshit radar isn’t registering anything.
I don’t think I’ll continue my application, but if I were to, I’d have a few questions like:
1. Why do I need experience of working as a personal assistant, being that I haven’t applied for any jobs of this nature/title?
2. You’re apparently based in Aberdeen, and your new business is in London. Why do you want to hire somebody who lives in Bristol?
3. There are phones in Aberdeen. Why are you selling me the virtues of your business by email?
4. Why are you posting things to a sorting office that I suggest, just so I can post them on to yours? There are sorting offices in Aberdeen. Get it delivered directly to you.
5. What the hell is an “electronics and clothing store”? Electrical stuff and clothes in the same store? Because geeks obviously like fashion, right? Presumably it’s called “Gap 2.0”? “Miss Sellfridges”? “French High Speed Connection”? “Gantt”? “Next..Step”? (Geeky joke that nobody will get. Next is a clothing store. Nextstep was an operating system.)
6. You run an electronics and clothing store, yet you want me to purchase electronics and clothing for you, at retail prices, “at any nearest stores”, AND post them to you individually? You are NEVER going to make a profit like this. You need to be buying it wholesale yourself.
7. I must be able to “write reasonably well”? Me? What?
8. Why do you refer to yourself as “me” or “I” repeatedly, then in one of the last paragraphs, get all “we” on my ass.
9. If I applied via Gumtree, I have provided you with all the information in your “info needed” section, already. Why do you need it again, Mr Le Gitt-Perrson?
10. Why don’t you get whoever wrote whichever advert I replied to originally, to continue your fake correspondence? Because this is fooling nobody.