Sainsburys. Sorry, Sainsburys.
I spotted these the other day, and it took me back to an unhappy time at the end of April. Ah the Royal Wedding. The day I went for a drive on my own to get away from the unending rolling news TV coverage of two people I don’t know, who I’ll never met, getting married hundreds of miles away.
Well I’ve got some bad news for the happy couple. I don’t think some of their merchandise was as exclusive as they’d hoped. Just look at this. They’re not even pretending. They’ve clearly used the same templates more than once.


The bodies are the same. Even the lines. Pfft. There’s no pulling the wool over my eyes. There are some fairytale endings you can’t mask with icing, Sainsburys.
I wish I’d seen the royal wedding ones at the time. It would have been quite satisfying to crush them up and feed them to the birds.
My girlfriend and I had planned to go out during it. But it gets to the time the wedding coverage starts, she sits down to watch it. In a total about-turn, after bemoaning how boring the build-up is for weeks, she tells me she’d rather watch it than do what else we were doing.
So I tried to make a day of it. I went for a drive, tested out some live video streaming thing (didn’t go so well), went to my mate’s house, then on to a community radio studio.
Mate had no interest in wedding, mate’s mum had no interest in wedding, but when I stopped to get the keys for the radio studio, a big scottish guy asked me: “why aren’t you watching the wedding?”
I thought he was taking the piss, but when we went into his living room, it was there on the TV. The ITV highlights and post-game talk.
I bought the gingerbread people on the way home both as a laugh, and as a present for my girlfriend, to make up for the fact I refused to sit there and watch someone’s tedious wedding video (albeit live).