Tag Archives: unemployment

“No DSS”

(I meant to write this post months ago, but I was busy, then I forgot all about it. Recently, I overheard a few people discussing some articles they had read in some piss-poor excuse for a newspaper, about benefit claimants, as if the story was factually accurate. While I held back from shouting “ABSOLUTE BOLLOCKS!” and/or laughing in their faces at the time, I’d like to use this opportunity to vent.)

A few months ago, I was looking for a new place to live. I was also unemployed.

Gumtree is always awash with people renting rooms. Hundreds and hundreds of them. And despite me seeing the same properties listed, and relisted, and relisted again – because the owners or occupants clearly can’t find anyone to move in, when I emailed asking politely if they would consider someone on benefits, and “either way could you let me know” – most of them completely ignored me. Which is rude, whichever way you look at it.

And that’s just the private ads. There was (and is) agencies listing and relisting and relisting (on Gumtree, Easyroommate, and other sites), like some form of house-based spam. Some of them pretend to be private landlords, for some reason. I was onto you “Lauren” and “Riccardo”. I’ve even seen “Lauren” advertising multiple properties in different locations with the same internal pictures. I emailed you twice and you couldn’t be bothered to reply to either. Well fuck you, fake “Lauren”. Continue reading “No DSS”

Bristol’s Hooters Closes

Ah – it seems that Hooters in Bristol has shut down. Good luck to the employees in finding more work, and to the owner in their future ventures. And I mean that. Whatever you think of the company/brand/ethics/whatever, a lot of people will have lost their jobs and income.

I never quite got around to going. And not just because I’ve been poor and have been struggling to find employment. I thought I’d blog about why I never went. Continue reading Bristol’s Hooters Closes


Just had my first real, legitimate, on-the-right-day signing on session at the job centre.

Upon arrival, I was given a questionnaire, which unfortunately for them had questions with multiple choice answers.
The answer options were “highly satisfied”, “satisfied”, “unsatisfied” and “highly unsatisfied”.
Really I wanted an option in the middle called “meh”. As they didn’t give me one, there were several unsatisfieds in there.
The last question asked if I’d be happy to take part in a focus group to give my opinion of the job centre. Fuck it. Why not?

I filled it out, and then I got a little confused.
The woman who gave me the questionnaire said to fill it out and return it to her. She promptly disappeared. When I asked another member of staff where she’d gone so that I might return it, I was told they didn’t know who she was, and she didn’t work for the job centre anyway.
Have I just had my identity stolen or something?

At the actual signing on session, I was told off for not opening and presenting my details in the correct manner, as they apparently only have 3mins for each person.
As she entered some of my details into the computer, she said she needed to see my jobsearch book, so I found it, opened it on the right page and put it in front of her.
She then asked for the jobsearch book, in a surprisingly moody manner. I pointed to where it was on the table, open.
She closed it, read the number off the front, then told me it would speed things up had I opened it on the right page in front of her.
Frankly that’s an argument I can’t be fucked with before noon.

Then I got a little bit of a further bollocking really.
Here’s part of my actual jobseeker’s agreement:

They seem to enforce some parts but not others.

I mean “phone 2 employers”? Who does that? Email/letter perhaps, but I’m not going to waste people’s time asking “you got any jobs going?” when I can just look on their website and see for myself.
Ask “people I have worked with before”? The ones who fired me?
They don’t enforce those bits, and at the moment, they don’t enforce the “apply for 2 jobs per week” bit, as in some areas, there aren’t that many jobs.

What I got the most of a bollocking for was the section that says “I will take 3 active steps each week to look for work”.
I’m not being creative enough with my answers, because I was told today that this would mean they look for at least 6 rows of things.
Yet, they count contacting Jobseeker Direct (Job Centre’s own jobs website/phone line) as one thing.
In which case, where I’ve put “updated CV on Monster, Reed and Jobsite”, presumably that should be 3 things in 3 rows? I’m a fool, clearly.

If I get invited to partake in this focus group, I’ll be sure to tell them just how silly I think some of their rigid rules are.

Are the benefits departments this rubbish on purpose?

It’s something I’ve been pondering over the last few days.
Since December, I’ve been miserable, signed off unfit to work because of stress, depression, and now (according to government assessments at least), I’m suitable for work again. This means leaving incapacity benefits and switching temporarily to “Jobseeker’s Allowance”.

I’ve claimed Jobseeker’s Allowance twice in my life. This is the second, but there’s been an 8 year gap in between, and some things have changed it seems. Also, I’d never claimed housing benefit before, as last time I was unemployed for a long period, I was living with my parents.

At the end of March, I had an assessment that said I was ready to return to work.
It’s conducted on behalf of the Department of Work and Pensions, by an outside company called “ATOS”. It’s a funny name isn’t it? I can’t believe nobody noticed before they had their letterheads printed.
“Dave have you called ATOS? Just give ATOS a cal…wait..that sounds a bit odd”.

The results of the assessment uses wording that made me laugh, so I’ll quote you some here from my “About your limited capacity for work assessment” sheet.

“[Ben has] no problems meeting and mixing with new people or going to new places.”

I think it’s safe to say nobody at ATOS has seen me at a party or in a nightclub.

“[Ben’s] behaviour does not cause problems for [him] or other people”


“[Ben has] no problems getting on with other people, and they have no problems getting on with [him]”

I should photocopy this and send it to the two girls who complained about me joking about their religion, and behaving in an apparently “lecherous fashion” in my last job.
If anyone was wondering, I didn’t cop a feel – just had a look at her ample cleavage. What sort of world are we living in where a man can’t have a look at a semi-attractive girl’s cleavage without getting a written letter of complaint about it? That’s another blog post, for another day.

As I said, I’ve never claimed housing benefit before.
When I initially filled out the forms for it, which were posted to me, I reached a section which said “please tick the forms of identification you are submitting”. It didn’t state which ones I needed to send.
Then it told me I should bring the completed form into the benefit office. They didn’t tell me where it was.
I tried my local Jobcentre Plus, but they said it went to the council offices at College Green.
When I got there, the security guard told me that wasn’t right – and I should take it to Amelia Court.
Third time lucky, Amelia Court took my documents, and happily signed for them all.

A few weeks later, I was surprised therefore, to receive a letter stating I must bring forms of identification into Amelia Court, as they didn’t have them.
Despite my written receipt, signed by them, they still claimed I’d never given them to them.
In I went, took them in again, and all fine.

When my “Employment and Support Allowance” (aka incapacity benefits) ended in March, I thought this might affect my housing benefit, as it’s a “change of circumstances” sort-of.
I phoned them up and asked if I had to do anything, given I was switching from one benefit to another.
A guy on the phone (I should have written down his name) told me he didn’t know, and wasn’t sure if he should log that I phoned anywhere, in case it did make a difference to my claim.
I mean what the hell are you meant to do with that? You’re telling them, but they won’t log it in case they’re not supposed to.

On the 14th April, I was delighted to receive a letter stating:

“We have recently received information in respect of your claim, which has raised a doubt over your entitlement to Housing/Council Tax Benefit. As a result, I have suspended your claim, and subsequently no further payments will be made.”

Always nice to enjoy a letter like that over your Weetabix.
Clearly when a claim stops, they feel the need to notify all and sundry, but when you apply for another claim, nothing gets logged.
One change in my circumstances results in all benefits being suspended.

More forms, and proof of earnings (bank statements) taken in, and signed for. As of 30th April, I’m still waiting for any confirmation/money.

Back to jobseeking, this week I had my first signing on day. Sadly, I missed it, because I thought it was Thursday (2 weeks after my work interview), when in fact it was Tuesday (2 weeks, less 2 days, after my interview).
On Wednesday, I found my notes and realised I’d missed my appointment. Essentially I got my days muddled. It probably happens to other people sometimes.

A phone call to the jobcentre, tells me I have to come in “immediately”. She actually used the words “how soon can you get here?”
It was a life and death kind-of situation, where I should ignore all speed limit signs and go literally like the wind.
I hadn’t showered or brushed my teeth yet that morning, but this was clearly more important, so I grabbed my keys and ran off to the jobcentre.
When I got there, I was sat down and asked to wait. 10minutes later, I spoke to another person, who booked me an appointment for 3 hours later, to sign-on.
I’m still unsure why I had to go in at all, if they were just going to book me an appointment anyway?
I can only guess this was some kind of payback they hand out to wankers who miss their appointments. I’m a bastard of the highest order, clearly.

Fast forward to the actual meeting.
I’m miserable, seriously pissed off at myself for getting my days muddled, with the pain that this will undoubtedly cost me, lingering in my mind.

Turns out, as I was 27 hours late for my actual signing-on time, this means my benefits stop.
I have to fill out a form detailing why I didn’t turn up, and unless I have a very good reason, they post it to Plymouth who “make a decision”.
If found guilty, my sentence is to lose all Jobseekers Allowance from the time I was meant to come in, til the time I actually came in.
That’s right – if found guilty after all these procedures, I lose 27 hours money. That’s £8.57. I’ll also have another load of forms to fill in to start a “rapid reclaim”.

As a former taxpayer, I’m slightly annoyed that they bother to go through all these checks, admin, posting forms from Bristol to Plymouth and back, and don’t just dock the money to start with? I mean it’s £8.57 for fuck’s sake.

The other thing about the jobcentre is that you’re never told the same thing twice.
When I had my original work interview, I was told I needed to specify some types of jobs I’d be looking for, to enable them to track my progress.
The woman conducting the interview stated I needed three, as that was the number of boxes on her screen.
I could only think of two, so two went down.
However, I was assured by her that IF I didn’t fill out a third, in the first 13 weeks of my claim, all my benefits would stop.

By the time it came to my signing on day, I had come up with a third. Go team Ben!
So I asked the man who I had my emergency signing-on session with, if I could add it.
After a lot of blank looks and confusion, and him telling me I had already done more than three things to look for work, we weren’t getting anywhere.

Then by pure chance, he clicked a button and we were on the very two/three-box screen.
I was moderately excited.
“THERE!! Look! That space! There’s three boxes but only two things filled out! I need a third in there!”
“Oh that doesn’t matter”, he tells me in a very relaxed manner. “You can apply for anything you want”.
I’m not convinced, so protest “but I need a third? I don’t want to have to go through all this again “
He tells me if I’d like to amend my job plan, he can make me an appo
intment to see someone else, and I can come back to amend the third box, but that I really can apply for anything I like.

We’ll see.
If, god forbid, I’m still claiming by the thirteenth week, and my benefits stop because of this, I’m writing an official letter of complaint.
That letter of complaint will then probably be posted from Bristol to Plymouth, where they will photocopy it, and then send it back to Bristol again, before both original and copy, is shredded.

Pointless forms and bureaucracy

As someone who unfortunately needs to claim benefits at the moment, I have a great deal of respect for any benefit cheats out there.
Mine is a legitimate claim. I can’t get a job right now as we’re experiencing the worst recession in my working history, so I need to claim Jobseeker’s Allowance to survive.
But I have a strange new respect for somebody who doesn’t need to claim, but for whatever reason wants to.
Call them lazy if you like, but fudging a claim without the use of children is very difficult.

Here’s just one example.
Since I made the first call to the benefit office, and told them my living arrangements, I was told they didn’t need to know the details if I lived in a shared house. I’m not married to any of them, and if I don’t pay my rent – they won’t pay it for me.
We live in the same four walls precisely because I can’t afford the £1000+ rent for the entire house on my own.

Despite me telling them my situation a lot, and them taking all my details, at a recent interview at Jobcentre Plus (“plus” what? I still don’t know), I was told I must give details of people I live with, despite the fact I don’t live with them. We just live in the same property.
So what’s the form like then? A list of names and a tick box to say I don’t have offspring with any of them?
That’s what I’d have thought.
An “I don’t really know these people, but pass them on the stairs occasionally” tick box would have done.
A perfect solution to a silly problem, and something for some admin temps to mistype in at a later date.

Imagine my surprise therefore, when page 2 of this form asks for very specific details I am completely unable to answer.

“Date of birth [of person who lives with you]”
I dunno? No idea. I could probably guess, but they might take offence.
Maybe take off a couple for the damage their drug problem might have done, perhaps.
Really, it’s none of my (or Jobcentre Plus’) business when 4 near-strangers in my house were born.

“What is the relationship between you and this person”
So far, for person 1 (I have to fill this out for all 4 other people I live with), I’ve gone with “none – we both live in the same house”.
Not really answering the question though.

“What date did you start sharing?”
I don’t really remember. I’ve written “May/June or July 2008”
The others will be more sketchy.

“For what reason did you start to share accomodation with this person?”
I’ve put – “It’s a shared house. I can’t afford the rent on my own.”

“How long do you expect this to continue?”
I’ve gone with “Until either I or they move out”

“Why do you think this?”
Still toying with this one. Something like “because marrying and having children usually forces the option” or “the landlord (due to retire in the next 10 years) says he wants to sell the house when the markets improve”.
I mean why do I think we’ll continue living together til one of us moves out?
I can hardly put: “Because neither of us is likely to die in the near future”.

Maybe I need to think more logistically. The other option is we could both move out at exactly the same time.

What do these people want from me?!