I’ll be honest, I don’t care about the Daily Express mostly.
It’s quite a boring newspaper.
Not racist/homophobic/scaremongering enough to be the DailyMail, it isn’t really first with any stories, and it doesn’t have any writers I’m bothered about.
I’ll read it if the paper is around, but I’m not too fussed about it either way.

My job in a petrol station also involves selling newspapers. As part of it, I have to put in all those millions of inserts that you get in weekend newspapers, as they’re all delivered separately.
Delivered with Saturday’s Daily Express was their normal magazine, with celebrity interview, TV guide, etc.
We were delivered a few too many inserts so I was flicking through a spare copy, and tucked away near the back was an advert that made me laugh. Maybe it was just because I was working a night shift and it was 4am, but this became a running joke for the rest of the night (click image for larger):

My first thought was how gaudy and disgusting it is, but there’s much more to poke fun at, than that.
Someone has actually sat down and thought “Elvis..people like Elvis..what sort of Elvis merchandise can we come up with?”
Granted Elvis has been dead for such a long time, it’s probably hard to keep coming up with ideas, but an Elvis cuckoo clock?
Sorry. Not just an Elvis cuckoo clock – it is the “first-ever” Elvis cuckoo clock!
Where he pops out and “sings” a hit on the hour?
What sort of drugs are they smoking at the Bradford Exchange?

It states several times this is the “40th Anniversary edition”, but of what?
His comeback special is mentioned early on, from 1968. But then the 40th anniversary of that would surely have been in 2008, not 2 months from the end of 2009. They have arrived somewhat late to the party.

The clock features a “brass pendulum bearing Elvis’ replica autograph”. As opposed to what? Getting him to sign them all personally?

Either way, you had better snap one up quick because it is “strictly limited to 295 crafting days”. Does that mean someone is making these all day every day, for nearly 10 months?
And I thought I had it bad in my job.

Available now, just £149.95 (plus 9.99 p&p) you can pay in installments – hurry! You need send no money now!