What a journey back.
This morning I felt terrible. On the short coach ride to the airport, I thought I was going to vomit.
Then we stopped and picked up some noisy chavs from another hotel. The kids were loud, and the dad kept over-yawning in a ridiculously over the top manner. Irritating.
On the way out, I got checked at the airport by the handheld scanner, so it’s only fair that my girlfriend get scanned on the way back home.

We boarded the plane, and they were showing music videos on the tv screens.
What would be the most inappropriate thing to show on a plane (with audio over the PA system, that you can’t turn off), before taking off?
How about Cheryl Cole’s hit “Parachute”?

Lyrics here: http://www.musicloversgroup.com/cheryl-cole-parachute-lyrics-and-video
Yes, really!

Quote:
“I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me
You’re gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down”

On a plane!
Unbefuckinlievable.

Take-off was smooth, flight smooth, staff superb. Incredible really that you can travel 6 miles above ground, at 400mph (they announced it), and it feel like you’re barely moving.

Some of the passengers were really annoying though.
Two chavvy Bristolians ended up behind us, choosing to sit in a manner which meant every movement they made, knocked the back of our seats.
My girlfriend thought they were really tall so couldn’t help it, but when they got off at the end, we realised they were just arseholes. And short-arses.

Also, for the entire flight, the guy in front of me with his stupid quiffed hair couldn’t decide whether he wanted to read his book, or put it away in the overhead lockers, or wear his coat, or put it in the lockers, or sit on the other side of the plane, or sit with his mate. Just sit down and sit still for fuck’s sake! How hard is it?

My girlfriend got a vegetarian lunch that she said was quite nice. As I wasn’t feeling well, just the smell of mine was turning my stomach, but it looked nicer and possibly more edible than the breakfast on the way out.

A few other random comments

Thomson/First Choice’s safety announcement video sucks.
I told them as such (actually I used the word “unprofessional”) in the customer survey they asked me to fill in on the return flight.*
(* I also mentioned their poor choice of a song called “Parachute”, and marked the flight food as “poor” – I’m amazed they have a box for “excellent” at all.)
It’s like the normal safety video, which tells you about reading the safety card, and where the life jackets are, except it’s presented by primary-school-age children.
I shit you not.
One primary school age girl telling another primary school age girl to store her teddy bear in the overhead lockers.

I don’t especially like children on tv anyway, and for something as serious as a safety announcement, I want it demonstrated by someone who is at least old enough to have had the relevant safety training.
Considering how competent their actual staff are, I think it does them down too. Is it all so easy that an 8-year-old can do it? Of course not.
I may write them a letter about it.

Ibiza is very clean

Most of the rubbish is natural – like leaves.
They have not just bins, but separate recycling bins – everywhere.
There is practically no dog mess anywhere. There are lots of dogs, and lots of bins for waste of said animals, complete with free bags.
Sadly, there are quite a few cats, which don’t seem to be owned by anyone. Crazy cat people put out food for them, so you’ll be wandering down the street and happen upon a load of cat food all over the place. Cat shit to follow shortly after.

Checker cars taxi service

£27 fee (each way), but the price is agreed before you go anywhere, and drivers friendly.
It works out marginally more expensive than parking my car for a week there, but with the added bonus that I don’t have to drive to the airport at 5am when I’m not really awake.
There are cheaper ways, but split two ways, it’s not that bad. It would have been £10 for both of us to get to Temple Meads via the airport bus, then we’d have to get home with all our bags and whatnot. A recent test suggests it’s about £10 from Temple Meads home, by taxi. There isn’t a direct bus.
For the extra money and convenience, it’s worth it.