Gripes

6music’s content isn’t the problem

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If you believe the reports in the Guardian or the Times but which the BBC is refusing to comment either way on then it seems 6music is for the chop.

If you’ve never heard it, it’s a bit like Radio2 for the under 50s. Interesting presenters, music you don’t hear anywhere else, new bands, etc.
Due to that, sometimes I can’t listen to it because I think the music is shit, but at other times, it gives people like Adam and Joe a much needed home for their comedy, which might not fit quite so well anywhere else into the other BBC stations.

So why’s it being axed (allegedly)?
Nobody is listening to it.
Take a look at the official Rajar listening figures via MediaUK.
Listening hours for mid 2007 = exactly the same as mid 2009.

In the fourth quarter of 2008 (a high point for the station), the most-listened-to show was Adam and Joe, which had only 69,000 listeners.
At the same time, the Asian Network (also allegedly about to be culled) peaked at 29,000 listeners.
(Figures from The Guardian)
At the same time, Radio2’s peak was 3.07million.
3.07million people listening to Terry Wogan reading out boring listeners’ letters. I’ll never understand what Wogan’s appeal was.

So why is nobody listening to 6music?

I think the problem isn’t the content of 6music, but the fact that it is DAB digital-only.
DAB is a pain in the arse, and it’s expensive.

The main selling points for DAB (to the consumer) are:
1. No interference
2. More stations
3. Better quality sound, including stereo on all stations
4. Easier to tune

Frankly I’ll ignore #4 completely, because it’s so stupid. How hard is it to tune an FM radio? Most modern FM radio just auto scan til they find what you want. And then you save it if you like listening to that station. You know where it is. Hard to tune? No.

#1 is true. There is no interference really. There is obvious dead zones though.
I live in Bristol and there’s a section of the M32 on the way in, where I can pick up only 4-5 stations from the massive list I normally have.
In my old house, there was about three spots in the entire house where I could get a decent DAB signal (all the stations I’m expecting).

#2 is partially true. While there are more stations, a shocking number have gone bust. Much as I enjoy listening to JackFM (not available on DAB), I can’t help thinking that a station without presenters most of the day, won’t last very long.
I used to enjoy The Storm with it’s presenterless few-advert format on DAB, til it went bust.

Music – presenters + adverts = Spotify.
And Spotify has less adverts.

Most of the stations on DAB are copies of what you can get on FM. The number of purely DAB stations isn’t that high.

#3 is laughable.
The big selling point of DAB (over say AM) for listening to stations like Absolute is that it’s in crystal clear stereo sound, nationally.
So next time you hear an advert saying you can buy a Pure DAB radio for around £40, go and look for one.
You might find something like the Pure One Mini.

£40.
But hang on! There’s only one speaker.
The big selling point is that DAB is all stereo sound, but the radios aren’t capable of giving you that in stereo sound.
£40, and you don’t even get two speakers. Rubbish.

It’s even worse in a car.
Not everyone wants to sit in their kitchen all day. What if you’re a courier? How are you going to listen in your van?
When I bought my in-car DAB radio, I could only find about 2 car radios under £200, that featured DAB.

But what if you’re buying a new car? Well DAB isn’t even an option on your Ford Transit van.

So what. Big deal.
Not everyone is a courier.

Let’s try a car. The Renault Clio? Nope.

Maybe you’re loaded. Screw it. I’m going to buy a Porsche 911 Carrera S (start price £70,000)!
Nope. No option, when building my Porsche.

Never mind. I’m rich, and completely bonkers.
After buying my Porsche, I’ll nip out to Halfords and buy myself an in-car DAB, and pay someone else to fit it for me.

Arse.

Having found a random non-mainstream supplier for your in-car DAB, and bought something like this from JVC:

…then you’ll go to install it, and you’ll notice it gets worse.
While normal DAB radios you can buy for £40 seem to be able to play FM and DAB via the same aerial, in-car radios can’t.
Why not?
Who knows? Who cares?! Either way – it means you’ll need two aerials on your car.
Perhaps something like this that goes outside the car, and sticks (to anything metal). It’s attached by a long cable too, but as long as you’re driving a convertible or don’t mind spending all day with the window open (or drilling a hole through somewhere), it’s fine.

And it still doesn’t work in tunnels.

Daily Life, Gripes, Technology

Unexpected item in the bagging area

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What is wrong with people?
Not a week goes by, without someone moaning to me about the “unexpected item” error you get in self-service checkouts at the supermarket.
If you’re getting it, it is YOUR fault.

Seemingly it’s a problem we’re all having, all the time.
Well I’m not.
Ever.
I’ve never thought of myself as a genius, but as I’m seemingly the only person in the world who can figure out how to use these machines, I thought I’d write a post explaining this, why it occurs, and how to resolve it.

I’ve had no training in building these machines, but from what I can see, there’s two things going on.
1. You scan.
2. You put it in the “bagging area”.
First the machine scans a barcode, then it expects you to put something in the bagging area.
I’m pretty sure it checks the weight of the bagging area, to make sure you haven’t bought 12 toilet rolls, and scanned them through as a Snickers bar.

It will report “unexpected item” if you just chuck something in the bagging area, because you haven’t scanned it.
That’s your fault.

So scan it, then put it in the bagging area. Simple.
You’ve scanned it, it’s waiting for you to put it in the bagging area.

Where a few people get confused is where they use their own bags.
Given it measures the weight, you already know you can’t just put your bag in the bagging area.
You know this doesn’t work – don’t fight it.
Don’t blame the machine.
If you put a bag in the bagging area without scanning anything, it’ll complain. YOU are using the machine incorrectly.

If you’ve been struggling with this, the solution is so simple you will kick yourself.
For this example, I’ll be buying a 2pt bottle of milk.
You scan the milk, then put it in your own bag, then put the bag (now containing milk) in the bagging area.
It weighs it, and it is approximately the weight it was expecting.
You do this for each new bag, as you add them.
Simple.

If that doesn’t work for you, then you’re still doing something wrong. I haven’t had an argument with the machine about unexpected items in months.
The only argument I have is when you have 4-5 bags, you’re attempting to put money away and pick them up, and as you’re a tiny few seconds slower, it tells you “please take your items” as if you’ve forgotten.
I’ve got a simple solution to that too – swear at it. Profusely.

Daily Life

An odd trip to the newsagents

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Well that was odd.
I work in a petrol station at the moment part-time, and we sell newspapers.
You know, like paper books with news in.
No? Erm….well it’s like a print out of what you can read online for nothing, a day or so after the big story has happened. With silly celebrity opinions shoehorned in.

In amongst this, we also sell some works of fiction, like the Daily Mail.
Anyway, a few weeks back I noticed this had been delivered to us:

At the time, I remembered a lesson in college recently, about how slagging off your competition is not a great way to advertise your product/service, as people tend to think you are a bunch of c***s.
Also, what is the “Casual Sun”? I don’t think we stock that title.
If they mean Sun readers who are only occasionally reading it, again – how would I know? I don’t take note of what every customer reads.
If someone buys a Twix, I don’t ask them if they’re only casually buying it, or if they would much prefer a Snickers. Very strange.

I’m not working today, and it’s jobs day in the Bristol Evening Post (my local paper), so I just nipped out to my local newsagents.
Once inside, upon approaching the newspaper stand, I noticed a man loitering shiftily.
As I got closer, he asked “getting a newspaper?”
I thought he was some bored shop assistant, and didn’t really have time to answer before my hand touched a copy of today’s Evening Post.
“Oh..” he said, upon sighting my choice, “can I interest you in a copy of the Daily Mail?”

“Erm no – I don’t really read the Daily Mail”, I replied.

I thought that would be the end of it to be honest, but he came back with the frankly amazing retort of:
“You don’t have to read it. You could just sign up for the vouchers to improve my stats”.

Lol. I almost felt sorry enough for him to sign up.
Everyone has to earn a living, and what with the economy being completely screwed at the moment, and admiring his honesty, I almost decided to do him a favour.
Sadly, I couldn’t be arsed. Plus, signing up to receive Daily Mail vouchers probably gets me junk mail from the BNP and other unsavory organisations.
Sorry about that Mr Daily Mail man.

It makes me wonder though if the Daily Mail are seriously worrying about losing sales.
It saddens me to say this, but as someone who has to accept/return newspapers as part of my job, the biggest selling non-Murdoch title is the Daily Mail. By a long margin.
We get two copies of the Financial Times. We return two copies unsold.
We get thirty copies of the Daily Mail, and sometimes return two unsold, on a bad day.

Nationally, the Daily Mail is the biggest selling daily…thing..by miles.

The real irony is that despite the disappointment of the Daily Mail voucher tout, and despite my reluctance to have anything to do with that publication, the newspaper I bought – the Bristol Evening Post – is owned by “Bristol News and Media Ltd”, which is “a member of the DMGT Group of Companies”. The Daily Mail and General Trust owns it anyway.

Daily Life, Random Silliness

Biscuits

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After spending 2.5 hours on a job application doing something constructive, I’ve allowed myself to do something silly, like, say – writing a letter to McVitie’s about creating portable digestive breath “mints”.

McVitie’s Consumer Service Department
Freepost Nat4520
Ashby-de-la-Zouche
Leicestershire
LE65 1NZ

Monday 7th December 2009

Dear Sir/Madam,

Yesterday, my girlfriend was enjoying some of your fine digestive biscuits, and dunking some in a cup of tea that she’d brewed in a McVitie’s Digestive mug. (I have enclosed a picture of the mug for reference purposes, but apologise for it being in black and white, as I don’t have a colour printer)

We were talking during this time, and I couldn’t help but notice that her breath smelt of biscuits.
It got me to wondering: Why are all breath mints…mint?
Why do we want our breath to smell of mint anyway? What’s so good about mint?

Personally, I love the smell of McVitie’s Digestive biscuits, and think it would be lovely if more peoples’ breath smelt of them. Plus it would probably make people hungrier and more likely to buy more of your biscuits, though I would hope you would not use that power for evil.

Obviously it is inconvenient to carry a large packet of biscuits with you everywhere you go though, and there would be a great deal of crumb maintenance, so I wonder if it would be possible for McVitie’s Labs to create a long-lasting portable breath “mint” that enabled you to have that all day taste/smell of biscuits? For overweight people, maybe you could make one that smelt/tasted of something nobody likes, like sprouts, or Turkish Delight.

Good day to you, and if you did feel the need to send me some vouchers to help fund my biscuit addiction (that you have played a part in creating), they would be much appreciated.

Yours hungrily,

Ben Park

I really did sign it like a proper letter too. It looks very official.
And here’s the picture I printed and sent with the letter (for reference purposes):

It’s a real letter. I’ve just posted it…..now.

Edit: 18th December 2009.
Just received this reply from McVitie’s (click to enlarge).

mcvitiesreply

 

Gripes, Technology

Virtually no boundaries

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It has come to light today, that computer games allow you to do some things that would not be nice if carried out in the real world.

As part of a study carried out by human rights organisations, video games producers have allegedly created computer games where you can clearly break the law.
They cite Modern Warfare 2, where you can kill civilians, as an example.

Guilty as charged, really.
Imagine a virtual world where you could do things that would be illegal in the real world.
All games should have real consequences for all actions carried out, and I’d like to see more show the reality behind the situations.

For example, currently in “Trauma Center: Second Opinion“, with very basic training of less than 10 minutes, you can operate on people in the emergency room.
What is the world coming to?!
Impersonating a doctor? I haven’t even been to medical school.
I’d like to see the game come with a tutorial that lasts around 5 years, in which you slowly learn all aspects of medicine, and pay a monthly fee, so that before you can carry out any operations, you are quite a few thousand pounds in debt.

Tony Blair should probably be questioned over whether or not it was right to go to war with zombies in “Resident Evil“.

In “Virtua Cop“, I find it offensively inaccurate that all suspects are immediately killed.
No information is taken, nobody questioned, and it may even be their first offence, if in fact they are actually guilty of any crimes.
At least 80% of the game should really involve paperwork and following up on old cases, and after a suspect is apprehended, it is only right and proper that the next 1-2 years of gameplay involves testimonials, legal proceedings and yet more paperwork.

“Pacman” is an incredibly bad message to send to children.
He clearly has an eating disorder and binges constantly. He is repeatedly bullied, and his only way out is to avenge his attackers and eat them alive. Two wrongs do not make a right in modern society.
Social workers and counseling may help his issues, and the bullying should be reported to the correct authorities.

“Duck Hunt” is clearly an unsustainable farming or pest control method, which will likely lead to extinction for the animal due to lack of proper nesting facilities or further breeding programmes.

In “Theme Park“, rides that are poorly maintained routinely collapse, injuring members of the public. A full investigation must be carried out to discover what has gone wrong, and procedures put in place to prevent future accidents.
The staff in the food areas have received absolutely no food hygiene training whatsoever. An unscheduled visit from the environmental health must be carried out regularly.
Locals have not even been consulted regarding planning permission to build such a large establishment, with only one tiny road as nearby transport links.

“Paperboy” depicts a street scene where a young child has a small income from a part-time job. It is to be praised on this aspect for teaching youngsters about the value of money.
However, vandalizing the houses of non-subscribers to this particular newsagent is tantamount to a protection racket, and should be removed entirely.
He also has no lights, repeatedly cycles on the pavement, and has no respect for the highway code, other road users or pedestrians. The game should be praised for its realism in this area.

And in various games such as “The Need for Speed” and “OutRun“, it is actually possible to indulge in dangerous high-speed driving on public roads, with little-to-no sentencing when caught.
When accidents happen, there is bizarrely little obvious damage, but no insurance information is exchanged between drivers, or blame assessed.
The drivers should be checked by medically trained individuals for non-obvious injuries, and any dangerous drivers responsible dealt with by the police.
I also suggest a points system whereby players receive points for speeding. After several breaches, they are disqualified, and the game becomes unplayable for 2 years while they have a good think about what they have done.
In severe cases, they are forced to take a theory and practical driving test, before being allowed back on the roads, to drive in a hopefully safer manner.

I Have a Dream

Neil Hamilton? Chicken/sausages made from humans?

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I worked all through Sunday night (and into Monday morning) in a boring job.
Monday daytime I didn’t sleep properly, so Monday night I fell asleep about 9pm.
I woke up about 11.30pm, realised I wasn’t about to get up and start cooking now, so, still hungry and missing an evening meal – I went back to sleep.
I’ve woken up at least twice since then, and it’s currently 5.32am as I start writing this, but I’m not annoyed. In fact, I’m actually quite happy.

Yesterday, I spoke to someone in a paid professional capacity, about several things. These included the fact that for the last few weeks, all the dreams I can remember upon waking are about me being attacked, or my untimely death. I’ve been attacked by everything from moths to wasps to a yeti. I’ve been shot at by a laser cannon and attacked by a crazed woman brandishing a serrated bread knife. I’ve traveled through time to attempt to stop an attacker by poisoning him first, and failed.
Last night, I had a dream where I didn’t die. I wasn’t even attacked. Go unconscious me! And I thought I’d share it here so anyone who reads this knows how crazy my brain is when I’m not awake.

To start with, I was part of what appeared to be a real life episode of Red Dwarf, which for some reason guest-starred David Tennant in part, as a kind of spoof of himself as Dr Who.
Tennant was turned into a chicken. Not a live chicken – no. A barbequed, nicely cooked chicken.
So well cooked in fact, that it was difficult to keep him from being eaten while trying to find a way of changing him back.
The woman who had carried out the conversion took the chicken, and then invited us to eat him. We all declined, except Rimmer. Which is odd, as he’s a hologram and doesn’t have to eat.
She also possibly cast some sort of weird spell on us.
The others hastily disappeared, I tried to find her, and must have managed to do so, as I was busy trying to knock her by hitting her with a broom when it was suggested I retreat, as the rest of them had discovered the now-secret location of the chicken.

The room was filled with a table, several members of Red Dwarf, a cooked Tennant-chicken, me, and shelves upon shelves of baseball caps. On each, a logo of meaning emblazoned on the front, and underneath each, a bowl of cooked sausages.
The logo on the front corresponded directly to who was featuring in the sausages, but I couldn’t fathom most of them out.
It was somehow common knowledge that the eating of the sausages would remove a part of the person whose essence had been stolen from them (and added to the recipe). Physically. If you ate a couple of sausages made from a person, they might (wherever they were in real life) shrink by an inch, for example.
Lister had a great idea that if he ate the sausages made from his own essence, nothing bad would happen. Upon eating half a sausage and feeling a tingling sensation in his fingers as they were possibly about to shorten, he gave this up.

At this point it became apparent, that this wasn’t real. I wasn’t really there. This was a film being shown at a film/TV production college of sorts. We were all watching it in a big cinema and I was sat near someone from The Inbetweeners, and some little kid I recognised from something, but still aren’t quite sure what.
Upon leaving the cinema by the appropriate exits, I found myself in what I’m told was Jonathan Ross’ house. He has a TV production school in his house? Of course!

In fact, it seems I was being given a tour of the place. TV production school one minute, then a meander along a very long balcony-type walkway.
Somewhere on a lower floor (which I could see due to the atrium-type design), Phillip Schofield was filming something for This Morning. It was a band performing on the show (although recorded, and from a different location for some reason?) There was a cameraman on one of those metal rollercoaster things they put cameras on to track alongside people walking/running from one place to another (not sure what they’re called. I don’t work in the film industry).

This place was bigger than any stately home I’ve ever been to. It made Longleat House look like a 2 bedroom terrace. There were multiple kitchens with staff, and some sort of talent agency upstairs. You could probably have filmed a Top Gear track lap in one of his living rooms.
Also taking the tour with me was a guy I haven’t seen since college, and someone I’m sure I know in real life, but whose name I just can’t remember.
The exit from all this was at the top floor. I think the property is built into some sort of hollowed out mountain – the sort only usually reserved for Bond villains.
On the way out, as I opened the front door, I swore in passing at how ridiculously huge this place was, and immediately got disapproving looks from the OAPs who were playing golf in a small section of his front garden.
My friend apologised on my behalf, and we left across several fields.

Nearby, there was a kind of square of businesses. I commented on how convenient it is to have a huge house, but still be nearby all the local facilities. I then noticed the Tesco Express was actually shut down. A larger Tesco had opened across the road, but had also shut down.
Several offices had been emptied.
But every one of these buildings had a “SOLD” sign stuck on the outside. My friend joked Ross had bought them all to expand his empire. I never found out if this was the case.

Apparently we were missing some kind of party at the JR complex, so we headed back. My friend from college had to go (though I hadn’t spoken to him once, throughout the entire dream. Which is also the case in real life, for the last couple of years).
On my way back up the hill to a side entrance, I passed the former MP Neil Hamilton leaving with a woman. He said “well, well, Ben Park” and gave a look as if he was annoyed with me. I immediately apologised but I’ve no idea what for. I chased after him for a bit and he told me “no, no. Don’t you worry. I’ll talk to my estate agent about it tomorrow”.
After he’d left, I queried who the other woman was, to my friend. He told me Christine and Neil had split up ever since what I had done, re the property/estate agent. I still don’t know what I did.

Back to the party (taking place in a side garden of sorts), various actors/actresses I recognised, may have even known what show they were from, but wasn’t aware of their real names.
Jonathan Ross had invited someone to this party, who worked as a full-time Jonathan Ross lookalike. He was so good, I struggled to tell them apart, except that the lookalike had a very strong cockney accent, so had to engage in conversation with him to work out if I was talking to the real one or not.
My friend wanted to leave and was giving me a lift, even though he wasn’t going in my direction really. There was the suggestion he might give me a lift to a train station and I might get home that way. I remember thinking I could call my girlfriend to pick me up from Temple Meads.
I tried to find the real Ross to say goodbye, managed to, but upon telling him I was off, he said “you should stay until after….” and I misheard the end of the sentence. Before I could say “sorry – after what?”, I woke up, still wondering what I was waiting for.

And here I am now. I’m going to go back to sleep and see if I can find out.
I do hope it isn’t “….after we restrain you with a yeti, carve you into sausages, and feed you to the cast of Red Dwarf, and a chickenified version of David Tennant, while Neil Hamilton films it for Rightmove.co.uk”.

Later edit: I didn’t get back to sleep, so don’t know what would/might have happened next.

Edit2: Today (17th November) is Jonathan Ross’ birthday. That would explain why he’s having a party. Happy Birthday!

Gripes, Technology

New computer designed for the elderly

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I was surprised to read this morning that a computer for the elderly has been launched.

Now I must admit I was pessimistic to start with.
Reading about a computer especially for the elderly, invokes similar reactions as hearing about the creation of a computer for gay people, or a computer for people of mixed race. I’m just not entirely sure there’s actually a need for it.

There is undoubtedly a lot of people who don’t have a computer at home, and/or don’t use the Internet and/or don’t understand computers at all.
This isn’t restricted to the elderly though.
My grandma is well into her 80s, and she can use a computer well enough to try out email, research some family history, etc.
She went on a free course for that. I’ve taught her nothing.

So what’s wrong with it?

Having read through the article and the website of the product, I’ve got several problems with the idea/scheme.

Firstly, it mixes itself from beginners basic, through to technical jargon and back again.
Looking on the SimplicITy website, there are two models available, called the “Suite 100” and “Suite 200”. I’d have given them names and not model numbers, but that’s just me. (Yes, even I don’t like model numbers. What’s a Samsung e9897-x/uk when it’s at home?)

The basic model says: “simplicity : model 100 – energy efficient, cool and quiet running”, and then tails off into a load of what will be mindless jargon for the novice (presumably for if you’re a geek buying this for your gran).
The better model says: “simplicity : model 200 – smaller and quieter than model 100”
So model 100 is quiet, but 200 is quieter? So clearly the 100 can’t be that quiet?
The computers are so small and basic, they should be fanless/silent anyway. Especially given the price.

Price = HOW MUCH?!

The most basic model (and it really IS basic processor wise, RAM isn’t even mentioned), including a 19″ screen, keyboard, mouse, etc is £435.99.
Delivery is another £10, and there’s no getting away from it, because they’re not available in shops.
The best part of £450 would easily buy you a Dell/HP. The Dell/HP likely wouldn’t have a crappy Sempron processor for that price either.
(£480 today gets you a Dell with an Intel dual core processor, 20″ screen (SimplicITy is 19″ – closest match), and 3gb ram, running Windows7)

SimplicITy then have the audacity to bundle in a plug for another website. They link to a site designed to apparently help the elderly with saving money. Incredible!
Tip 1 is presumably to not buy one of these computers.

You may think that quality costs, and people don’t buy everything to the cheapest price. If that’s true for you, buy a Mac.
If that isn’t true for you, buy a Dell/HP.
Everything about this scheme just seems like a complete rip off.
They’re selling something as designed for the elderly, when all you’ve done is simplified (possibly) it a bit and increased the price. Digusting.

Bespoke = bad.

The SimplicITy system runs a bespoke front-end called “Square One” (if you get stuck you go “back to Square One” – no, really. I haven’t made that up).
It’s a front end which has no resemblance to any other operating system you’ll find Dave next door using.
If we geeks of the world have learnt nothing else from the past, it should be that the biggest problem with AOL was that it didn’t work/look like any other internet provider.
Switching from AOL to another provider became a major chore for the novice, as software, protocols, emails, browsers, were all completely different.

Which brings me onto the biggest issue:

Support? Any?

If you buy yourself a cheap Dell or HP computer, if and/or when you get a problem, you can phone/email/text/visit a friend and ask for their help. Everyone’s grandson will use Windows or a Mac these days.
A simple problem will remain just that – a problem.
Talking someone through a computer problem on the phone “blind”, requires you to have a superb knowledge of the operating system the other person is using.
There is no mention of support anywhere within the BBC article, nor on the SimplicITy website.

In fact, training seems to be entirely left to Valerie Singleton through video tutorials.

Broadband?

And after taking you through the basic functions you can expect from your (somewhat overpriced) computer, on the last page of the SimplicITy website, with the order form, it states at the bottom of the page:
“You will need a broadband connection. If you don’t have one already, make sure you order it as soon as you’ve placed your order for the simplicITy, so when the computer arrives you will be ready to start using your computer immediately (the wait for broadband installation can be up to 10 days).”

Way to go! They’ve taken them through the basic basics, then told people they need Internet access, which they don’t provide any further information on.
They don’t sell it, they just give a phone number for Eclipse.
Eclipse have quite a good reputation as it goes, but I hope they’re prepared for the phone calls they’ll get. People who don’t understand computers generally haven’t a clue how broadband works at all.
They’ve done the right thing at least including a phone number, instead of just a casual web link to Eclipse’s main site.

So is it even necessary?

Having until recently worked in IT support for a number of years, I’d suggest that the skills gap is not all with the elderly anyway.
There are the youngsters of today who all have computers at school, people in their 20s who experienced broadband as it was taking off (and got into BitTorrent, etc), and there are people who have retired who have more free time and can learn to use a computer.

I would suggest the worst age is late 30s through to late 50s. It’s an age-range where computers weren’t available as they’ve grown up, the world has changed to a point where they have got to use “the things” for work, and they commonly retaliate against them and have little time/interest in learning.
The difference here is that those being forced to use them for work, have the support of their IT department or outside IT organisation. If and when they get stuck on something or a problem occurs, there is someone they can phone.
And that someone will be of absolutely no use if you phone them and tell them you’re running Linux Mint edition, because they’re all trained in Macs and Windows.

The only thing that surprises me here is that this scheme is so badly conceived, I’m amazed it isn’t government funded.

Daily Life, Random Silliness

Have you got the time, mate?

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I’ll be honest, I don’t care about the Daily Express mostly.
It’s quite a boring newspaper.
Not racist/homophobic/scaremongering enough to be the DailyMail, it isn’t really first with any stories, and it doesn’t have any writers I’m bothered about.
I’ll read it if the paper is around, but I’m not too fussed about it either way.

My job in a petrol station also involves selling newspapers. As part of it, I have to put in all those millions of inserts that you get in weekend newspapers, as they’re all delivered separately.
Delivered with Saturday’s Daily Express was their normal magazine, with celebrity interview, TV guide, etc.
We were delivered a few too many inserts so I was flicking through a spare copy, and tucked away near the back was an advert that made me laugh. Maybe it was just because I was working a night shift and it was 4am, but this became a running joke for the rest of the night (click image for larger):


My first thought was how gaudy and disgusting it is, but there’s much more to poke fun at, than that.
Someone has actually sat down and thought “Elvis..people like Elvis..what sort of Elvis merchandise can we come up with?”
Granted Elvis has been dead for such a long time, it’s probably hard to keep coming up with ideas, but an Elvis cuckoo clock?
Sorry. Not just an Elvis cuckoo clock – it is the “first-ever” Elvis cuckoo clock!
Where he pops out and “sings” a hit on the hour?
What sort of drugs are they smoking at the Bradford Exchange?

It states several times this is the “40th Anniversary edition”, but of what?
His comeback special is mentioned early on, from 1968. But then the 40th anniversary of that would surely have been in 2008, not 2 months from the end of 2009. They have arrived somewhat late to the party.

The clock features a “brass pendulum bearing Elvis’ replica autograph”. As opposed to what? Getting him to sign them all personally?

Either way, you had better snap one up quick because it is “strictly limited to 295 crafting days”. Does that mean someone is making these all day every day, for nearly 10 months?
And I thought I had it bad in my job.

Available now, just £149.95 (plus 9.99 p&p) you can pay in installments – hurry! You need send no money now!

Gripes

Jan Moir vs decency on Stephen Gately

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I’m not really familiar with the woman, but I am familiar with the Daily Mail, who write nonsensical stories throughout the day, devoid of facts, heavily biased, and most of them opinion-led, despite claiming overwhelming to the contrary.
Lines like “we’ll never know if” and “who could say what might happen if” are the sort of things you can expect to find.
A good journalist might attempt to find out “what if”, or better still – check if there is any likelihood of that actually happening or having happened. However, non-scandalous fact-based stories don’t seem to sell papers as easily.

The article that has got up most of the Twitter users’ collective noses today, is a questioning piece that suggests that the late Stephen Gately must have died from something other than the norm, and that people don’t just die suddenly for no reason.
It tries to suggest that all people wait til they’re old and grey to leave the earth, unless they get run over, take drugs, or contract cancer (and we all know just being male give you cancer).

This has been debated at length already, and here are the best three opinion pieces on why Jan Moir is a clueless idiot.
1. This is childish but funny, and frankly it’s an article with about as many facts in it.
(http://notsowunderbar.blogspot.com/2009/10/why-there-is-nothing-natural-about-jan.html)

2. This one breaks it down into the points she has got most wrong, including the gay-bashing and linking of unrelated celebrity deaths.
(http://enemiesofreason.blogspot.com/2009/10/why-there-is-nothing-natural-about-life.html)

3. Charlie Brooker in The Guardian. Some points similar/identical to #2 above, but then expanding in some areas.
(http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/oct/16/stephen-gately-jan-moir)

I’ve commented on The Guardian one, but in the time it took me to type my comment, there had been another 73 comments posted.
Here’s what I wrote:

I don’t know why, but I found myself drawn to the bit where she claims nobody young and apparently healthy ever dies suddenly, or of a medical problem they don’t know they have.
Nobody.
Like Dermot Morgan
or Martin Kelly or Natasha Richardson.
Those people were all old though, yeah? Like 40+!

Nobody under 40 ever dies from an undiagnosed health condition…
Except Christopher Price, or to coin a recent article, this recent example where the DailyMail argued that a young girl was killed by a cancer jab, despite having no proof and the health organisations saying that she clearly wasn’t.
In some reports, they even used wording like “the health trust would give us no further information” to make it sound like they were being denied scandalous information, when the actual fact was that [the trust] had no more information and were still running tests.

Why anyone reads the Daily Mail is beyond me. I’ve seen more factual information written in limericks on toilet walls.

Daily Life, Gripes

Living with people

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I hate living with people.
I currently share a house with three others, but a fourth will be added when a room has been renovated to a standard where you can actually live in there.
When I moved in, I partly fooled myself into thinking I’d like to live with people as it would be more sociable, but if I’m completely honest it was because I had a shitty studio flat where I had to cook in my bedroom, and that got boiling hot in summer, freezing cold in winter, and had no central heating.
I also didn’t have a washing machine (or room for one), and walking to/from the launderette wasted a lot of a weekend day.

Today I’ve had a shit day. I knew that a long time before I got home.
I’m tired, I’ve fucked my sleep pattern up, and feel like I’m wasting a huge percentage of time every week, that I should be spending doing something.

But that can’t be any excuse for other peoples complete lack of ability to wash anything up?
How hard is it to scrape the ketchup off a plate, so it’s clean?
If you ate in a restaurant and there was some old scummy ketchup on the edge of a knife you were eating from, you’d ask for a clean one.
I’ve just had to wash up every plate (two of which I had used), but one was in the cupboard, all caked in some previous meal.

I’ve put that plate back next to the sink to be washed up fucking properly like the hygiene policeman that I am, but it’ll end up being me that washes it up anyway, because nobody else cares.

And the annoyance doesn’t stop there.
When people do wash up, and do it to a mediocre standard that passes my test, they occasionally dry it up, then leave it out on top of the cooker.
We’ve got a cupboard for pans, another for plates, etc. If it’s washed, clean and dry, just put it away.
Otherwise I have to put it away when I come to do some cooking.

I’m not sure who keeps doing it, but there is some sort of pasta sauce or ketchup on the side of my kettle at the moment. (Yes, mine – I bought it!)
I’ve cleaned it recently, and it’s back there again.
How does that even happen?
I must admit I’m no amateur to using a kettle, but I fill it with water, boil it, then add it to the mug/bowl/pan I’m using. At no point do I smear ketchup all down the side of it.
It’s not even on the handle so it isn’t just coming off their hands. I’ve thought through the possibilities, and I can’t fathom it out.

Of the 10 cups we have in the house, 3 of them are currently clean.
There’s a few lying around the living room and a glass half full/empty of water (always – why not just put less in, if you don’t want all of it?)
Between 4 of us, it’d probably be nice to have a few more. But I’ll be fucked if I’m buying any more, as I bought all of them to start with.

There’s an iron still plugged in (thankfully switched off at the wall) that someone hasn’t bothered to put away. My iron, yes.

And one of my housemates just rang the doorbell because he’d lost his keys. Why do people lose keys so easily? I’ve never lost a set of keys in my life, and maybe it’s down to the fact I assume that anyone who has my keys can steal whatever they’re currently keeping locked up.
E.g. It’s not a key – it’s my laptop, TV and everything else I own of value.
Sadly in a shared house, it’s exactly the same if they lose their keys.

Some of them are also really shit with bills.

Yet sadly, thanks to my lousy pay, I’m unable to afford to live alone.
I’m forced to live with other bloody people.
Thanks to the good schools in my area, and other niceties, despite the recession, houses are still valued at over £300,000 in my street.
The knock-on of living in an area which isn’t full of chavs and mostly free of fucktards, means I couldn’t rent a one-bedroom flat here without nearly doubling my salary.
According to RightMove’s iPhone app, I can’t even downsize and down err… people. Switching to a 2 bedroom flat and finding someone who would only wind me up slightly, would still involve me paying another £100 a month in rent alone, plus increased council tax and other bills.

It makes me laugh to hear people who own property moaning about the value dropping by 0.1%. “Oh woe is me. I’ll have to wait another year to retire”.
Arseholes.
If a £300,000 house drops in value by even 20%(and the market shits itself at 1%), then it’s worth £240,000. As long as you don’t sell it, it makes no difference to anyone.
If you’ve cleared the mortgage, then just sit and wait, or sell it if you need the money. If you’re going end up in negative equity by selling, then don’t sell it.
Property is an investment after all. Investments can/should go down as well as up.

Frankly a depreciation of 20% in any other area would be superb. Imagine if a £200 Xbox was worth £160 5 years later on eBay.
To people on a salary of say £20,000 the difference between a £240,000 house and a £300,000 house is absolutely nothing. Even two people on £20,000 each, buying a house together. No difference.

Just who do these price rises benefit anyway?
I once got chatting to someone who owned a large house in the Clifton area, worth an absolute fortune. They told me it was no benefit to them at all. If they sold it, they’d still have to buy another elsewhere, which in the nicer areas, would also have risen a lot. Unless they were planning on living in a shed, whether it was worth £200,000 or £400,000, it was no benefit whatsoever.

Now as I’m grumpy and tired. And tired because grumpy. I’m going to attempt to get an hour’s sleep while my neighbours bang around and randomly shout, before I go back to my badly paid job where stoners can’t decide which fucking cigarettes they want. I hate people.